Chapter 35- Look Beyond Behavior
In your own words, describe the meaning of Loving-Kindness.
I believe that the meaning of loving-kindness is having the ability to love someone regardless of negative moments that they may have, regardless of how they might treat you at certain times. When I say this, I don’t mean that people who have loving-kindness are friends with people who are straight-out rude to them, but they have the patience to care for someone that may treat them in a negative manner at times. I don’t necessarily think that everyone should have loving-kindness, some people don’t have the patience to deal with others who may treat them negatively, and I think that is perfectly fine. Not everyone needs to have this sort of patience, if they want to be with people that are more positive, then I feel like that is the better option than having loving-kindness. I personally believe that I have slight loving-kindness, if someone lashes out at me or is sassy with me, sometimes, at the end of the day, I try to see from that person’s perspective and realize that they have a lot going on in their life. They truly aren’t angry with me, but they were just in a bad mood, and I can see why they lashed out at me. That is where I have patience, because I would stay friends with that person because I know that they aren’t mad at me. However, I do not think I have enough patience to be friends with someone who would constantly be like that. I don’t think that is one of my faults, but instead just one of my characteristics that I follow. I also believe that there is a range of having loving-kindness, it’s not the sort of thing where you either have it or don’t have it. I think it would be good to balance this out, to stay in the middle, so that people don’t tread over you.
Chapter 36- See the Innocence
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation?
When we practice compassion toward others and let go of “their” story, rather than being caught up in the drama of a situation, there can be both negative and positive effects towards you and the other people. For the positive effects, you yourself are less stressed and worry less about the relationship with your friends. Since you aren’t getting caught up in the drama, caring less about an argument that might be occurring, you don’t feel the stress of being in the argument. You also don’t worry about your friend hating you or wanting to not be friends with you anymore because of the argument going on. The other person can also feel these positive effects, they will not worry about their relationship with you or be mad at you. However, with the negative effects, these can occur if you let go of their story too much. If your friend keeps on treating you harshly, they keep on doing mean things to you, and you just keep letting go of their story, then you are letting yourself be walked on. It’s fine if there are a few times where your friend has had some bad days, and they treat you as a result in a bad manner. I think that this is normal human behavior, like you cannot always be a positive person. But if this behavior from your friend happens over and over again, they need to understand that they cannot just treat people like that. They need to have respect for others, even on their worst days.
Chapter 37- Choose Being Kind over Being Right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look to your Ego first before you answer…
Equanimity to me is finding a sort of peace and balance through helpful practices in life, such as purposefully relaxing, doing hobbies that are healthy and that make you happy, and caring for yourself and others. I think that equanimity is something that can be definite, I don’t think that it is a range of emotions that people feel, but something that you would arrive at after balancing the different areas of your life and have developed with how your life is going. However, to practice having equanimity, I think that is less definite and something that more people can do. I would say then, that I do practice equanimity because of this reason. I try my best to maintain a balance of work, but I also realize that I cannot be constantly working at a good pace unless I do things to practice equanimity. I think that anyone, any person, would break down if they did not practice equanimity. So then, when I practice this, I talk to my friends who make me feel happy, take a break and clear my mind, or walk my dog. I said earlier that I think that equanimity is something definite, but I don’t think that you necessarily need to be an older person to achieve this balance, as long as you are treating yourself right and are being productive in your work, you can reach equanimity.
Chapter 38- Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them
In picking 3 people, who would you choose and why them?
I would pick my parents first because they have guided me through so much in life and I truly am very thankful for them. They have set up great role models for me and I work hard to make them happy, so that they are proud of me. They have always supported me through thick and thin and they try their best to help me with problems that I have surrounding school even though they don’t understand them at times. They also always inspire me and push me forward when I talk about problems that I may have. The other person would be my cousin because she is like a sister to me and she cares a lot about me. I always tell her everything and she gives me advice on all of my problems and I can tell that she’s always there for me. I feel like we are just very similar in general so we always have a lot to talk about.
Chapter #39: Practice Humility
Describe a time when you saw an individual or a group lack humility. How did that make you feel about said group? No need to share names in this example.
I feel like there have been multiple times in my life when people have bragged about their accomplishments or tried to make them look better than how they actually are. I have experienced these people mostly within the school and in my classes, people bragging about the score that they got on their tests, or how sometimes they think that I am below them in some way, like in my intelligence. A specific example is when some individuals were bragging about the scores that they got on this test, thinking that no one was able to beat them by getting a better score than them. Little did they know that I was actually able to get a better score, but they never thought that I would get such a score because they truly do not know how I am. But for some reason, it just made me feel bad because it made me feel like I was not good enough to be in this group of people, like I was not intelligent enough to be associated with them. But I truly know that I am enough.
Chapter #40: When In Doubt about Whose Turn It Is To Take out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take It Out What is your perspective/opinion of this article? Valid, or waste of time?
I feel like this perspective is valid, I do not think that rather small issues should be taken so seriously because this can ruin relationships, but this can all depend on the specific situation and what those kinds of tasks are. In reality, you shouldn’t care an enormous amount if your relative or whoever won’t do a house chore, but this problem does come to a point where it can end in relationships breaking or becoming worse. For example, if your sibling is always being lazy and they are never doing any of their work around the house, that is a genuine problem that you should be mad at. This shows that your sibling isn’t being productive or hard-working, they do not care enough about you to do things to make you happy. There are other tasks, such as giving someone homework, that I cannot stand and am not able to do. I don’t like to give out my work because I don’t want to feed into laziness for other people, but I would give the friends that I am close to my work. Like I said, this issue all depends on the task and person at hand.
Chapter #41: Avoid Weatherproofing Do you Weatherproof? Explain
I don’t think that I Weatherproof, I do not ever recall myself looking into a relationship and trying to find negative or bad signs to decide if I should end the relationship with the person. I want to enjoy all the relationships that I am in, and I partly feel like I would even ignore the bad signs in a relationship if I want to be with the person. I would purposefully ignore these things because I just want to avoid conflict. I do not like going up to people and confronting them about bad things that they have done, I just do not want to put in all of that energy. However, if I do see the negative signs and they are so bad that they are hugely affecting me, then I will not be afraid to go after that person. If these effects are detrimental to my health and causing me major stress, then I will not hesitate to stand up for myself. Another thing that I do when someone is stressing me out immensely during difficult times is that I just ignore that person. I remember last year, during the AP exam season, one of my friends was angry at me because I didn't reply to her text message. I already told my friend that I was busy studying for the AP exam beforehand because it was the AP exam season, so it's not like she was completely clueless about my situation. I decided instead of confronting her or texting her about it, I just ignored her and spent my time studying for the AP exam instead. I don't think that I actually ever confronted her about this, but I just could not stand having my time and energy be directed toward these petty things. I feel like she also needed to understand my situation, that it was an immensely stressful time for me, and allow me to concentrate my time on studying for the exam. But for the most part, I care very much about the people that I am in a relationship with, so I would ignore those signs.
Chapter #42: Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love
Who do you choose to send love to at this moment?
At this moment, I am choosing to send love to my dad because he is leaving for Mexico today and I hope that his flight goes smoothly and safely because I can’t be there to accompany him at the airport. I am not only sending love to him because of this reason only, however, I am sending love to him because of everything that he has done for me in the past and because of all of the love and care that he has sent to me. I also chose him because it is slightly frightening to think that he is traveling to a different country and I cannot be there to make sure that he is safe but I trust him. I know that he will be safe and careful and he tries to travel to his hometown. I also think that he deserves this trip very much because he has not gone to his hometown in a long time since it is very far away and he just wants to go back to where he used to live, to see the town that he left a while ago. I am sending him love by hoping that he spends a very fun time there, visiting his family members, because that is what he deserves for all of the effort that he has put in.
Chapter #43: Become an Anthropologist
Reflect on the following: “judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.”
I think that judging in general is something that has created many negative effects in our world, some might even think that it is the root of all evil, which is something that I would slightly agree with, because I think that judgment is a sort of distractor for yourself and can make other people feel bad about themselves, for example, things that they’re wearing, what they look like, and so on. Sadly, however, most people continue to judge others for every little thing that they can note, causing negative impacts to everyone, not only the people that are judged. The people who are judging are wasting their time and energy because they believe that their opinions and thoughts are important to the people around them. They also tend to focus on negativity in life and become invested in that because of how little positivity they see and note. Some may even not understand the importance of positivity because of how infatuated they become by judging others. Also, the person who judges may even see the negativity within themselves because they would start judging themselves, hating everything that they deem that is not perfect.
Chapter #44: Understand Separate Realities
Why is it important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world?
I think that it is important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world so that we can all see how different we can be and yet have many similarities and share the different things. We can also bond over our differences and be interested in how our cultures are different from each other instead of being ignorant and disregarding someone else’s culture just because it is different from yours. While it is true that people mostly bond over the similarities that we share, I believe that we should not ignore our differences because when that happens, we lose our individuality and uniqueness within everybody. We have seen, many times in history, that it is bad when we all try to be the same with one another because we think that there is something wrong with other differences that people may have. It is also important to see differences in our small intimate circles because when we go out into the real world and are exposed to people who are vastly different from us, we will be better equipped to deal with their differences. This is a common problem with people who come from small towns which have very little diversity. Once people from those small towns come into contact with the outside world, like in college for example, they will be in shock at how different other circles are in the world. Therefore, we should all become accustomed to the things that make us different.
#45 Develop Your Own Helping Rituals
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness toward others
Random acts of kindness immediately come to mind when I think of this prompt. While they seem small, and sometimes rather of no worth, the truth is, they can make a complete difference in one’s day. Just waving to someone, shaking hands with someone, can make someone feel loved and happy. I usually think of Princess Diana with this example, as she shook the hands of someone who was suffering from AIDS, and changed the attitudes of many towards the victims who were affected by AIDS. I think showing kindness can also be given by being consistent with your attitude and not having days where you treat others completely badly because of how your day is going.
#46 Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire or Appreciate about them
Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
I chose my friend, Amaris, and I decided to tell her that I really liked her outfit on Friday and that she always dresses herself well. I would like to think that I do compliment people often, as I am an observant person, so I notice differences in others as soon as I see them. For example, if my friend has a new shirt on, or does their makeup differently, I can immediately notice and compliment them for it. In this instance, I felt nice to be able to support someone else because you never truly know what someone else may be going through. She thanked me and showed me gratitude, so I was able to see how thankful she was. This makes me feel really happy because I can see my impact in the world, through what I say and do.
#47 Argue for Your Limitations, and They’re Yours
Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
A time when I had self doubt was when I decided to not take the AP Human Geography exam. I decided that I was not ready at all to take the exam, and that I did not feel confident to do well on it. This was after the fact that I had worked so hard the entire year on AP HUG since it was my first AP, but I still thought that I would not be able to do it because I thought I would need more time to study. I really regret this decision because I heard that the exam was not even that bad and that many people got 5’s on their exams. I can change this behavior by always wanting to take a shot at things, instead of being too scared of what the outcome could be. I won’t be too scared to try out different things or to take different paths in the academic world, because I know that I am truly prepared and capable.